Tuesday 23rd of August 2011
9am I wake up.. and as I do every morning, check face book as if it’s the daily newspaper.. and find that my iphone buttons will not work! My phone won’t work at all.. Totally annoyed.. DP is going back to work on thurs.. I can’t be left without a phone.. I have a 2 and a 10 year old.. and I’m 8 days past my due date. So we get in the car for the 30 mins up to springvale to get it fixed.
The plan for the day was to go up to the dandenong mountains.. hearing from a friend that a change in altitude was enough to bring on labour for her..Maybe we can still go after the phone is fixed..
In the previous few days I’d tried everything to bring labour on.. I was desperate to get it started naturally because DP was heading back to work on the Thursday. I wanted him here when it started so the responsibility wouldn’t be left with my eldest if I went into labour and no one else was around.. The Braxton hicks and false starts were so frustrating! I had everything organized.. I was more than ready, I had prepared myself emotionally and physically for months! But baby wasn’t ready yet... I knew it was possible that I might still have a few weeks to go.. as my own mother went 5 weeks over her EDD with me.. and although this was my third child..after two hospital inductions, this was my first spontaneous labour/birth and first homebirth! So I resigned to the fact that maybe this was just my body preparing and I still had a ways to go. I wouldn’t say anything until I knew for sure that I was in labour.
11am As DP started driving, I felt the familiar niggles of BH contractions, but didn’t say anything.. A few times I moaned but he didn’t really notice being a bit deaf in one ear.. I was glad for that.. He put the phone in to the shop for me, and I waited in the car with the kids. He told me it was going to be a bit longer than expected.. 2/3 hours.. I started feeling a little fretful.. I wanted to go home.. but it was pointless driving all the way back, only to return an hour later.. so we decided to go out for lunch.. I told him then..as the contractions felt different. More intense, but not yet painful! Through lunch they were between 5 mins and 20 mins apart.. irregular.
2pm We go to the park with the kids.. Im still contracting and just wanting to be in my own space.. so I wait in the car.. Ness takes Jaz on the play equipment while Ray and I sit and talk, we laugh and contractions start slowing down. I feel really good and happy, but I’m still wanting to get home.
3pm We pick up my phone from the shop and contractions start getting regular.. 15 mins apart.. I’m thinking this is early labour.. I ring my midwife and let her know.. Tell her just to be on standby.. That I’m still not sure.. but things are happening.. I’m not in pain.. I also go to message the student midwife, but she calls me before I have a chance – her and I have this cool connection – I really am glad I found her! Thanks facebook.
5pm My mum had planned to take my eldest overnight and I ask her if she can take my youngest too as things are progressing and I feel that I need to rest, even if its not the real deal.. she can just bring them back in the morning... She agrees.
6pm Contractions still going.. I’m laying on the couch whilst DP cooks dinner.. he goes out to the garage to exercise and asks me to keep an eye on the food.. I don’t… lol I’m busy timing contractions… Dinner is a very tough roast… Oops!
11pm DH is upstairs in bed.. and I get the bright idea to go for a brisk walk.. He agrees and we walk to the shops. I push myself the entire way and don’t stop at all even though I’m regularly contracting.. He gets junk food.. but I don’t have an appetite.
12am We get home, I jump in the shower and go to bed.
Wednesday 24th august:
3am I wake with an intense contraction that doubles me over in bed.. I moan out.. I lay there for half an hour still wondering if this is it.. and start timing them.. I have about 4 contractions..
3:30am There’s no mistaking it.. I’m in labour.. I’m wondering how quick it will happen.. If people will get here in time.. but I’m calm.. and I continue to go with my body.. They are 5 mins apart.. and regular. I message my mum and ask her if she can take the day off and look after the kids.. she agrees and tells me to wake up Ray and call the midwife. I say no, I’ll wait a bit longer.. I try to keep calm and get some more rest but I’m too excited.. This is what I’ve been waiting for….
5am I message the midwife and let her know whats going on.. I tell her we are having a baby today.. or this afternoon.. or tonight.. She just asks me to message again when I’d like her to come over. I wake up DP.. he nods back off to sleep almost instantly as he thinks it’s just BH again! OH GOD don’t fight me now.. SERIOUSLY! *KICK* “WAKE UP!!!!” Nope.. nothing.. Okay fine … “babe I’m going downstairs to set up..” He starts stirring “Ohh is this it?” yep… lets go. We both go downstairs.
5am – 6am We start to slowly set up.. in between contractions.. I’m setting up my altar of candles and inspirational ornaments.. things from my mother blessing.. and he is concentrating on setting up the pool.. Every time I have a contraction, I go and sit down.. I just can’t stand.. I feel like things are progressing too fast when I do ! I message the photographer.. She says she will wait til 7am before she starts ringing around to get a babysitter for her kids.. I message the student midwife.. she says she has a babysitting job from 11am-6pm that she doesn’t think she can get out of.. I’m disappointed but I have to keep my mind focused..I have a shower and get into my birth clothes.. I keep in contact with my midwife.. contractions are 4 mins apart now. DP starts filling the pool….
7am DP is upstairs.. I’m sitting focusing on my contractions.. getting myself into the zone.. loving my space.. and I open my eyes.. I look at the carpet.. the darkened area.. the… “FUCK!!!!!!!! RAYYYYYYYYYYYYY QUICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The pool is leaking! EVERYWHERE! I run into the laundry and turn off the tap. The pool was already half full.. it has nowhere to go but out onto our carpet.. the tarp does nothing at all.. This was a BRAND NEW POOL… WHAT THE HELL??? I start crying.. it’s a disaster.. I don’t want to be here anymore.. this is no longer my beautiful space!! It’s a mess!! DP starts swearing and cursing the midwife that sold it to us.. I tell him to relax as I’m getting even more upset.. he hits savior mode and starts getting to it.. bucket after bucket emptying the pool out into our backyard. He shouts for towels…err…my towels.. that are for the birth? I don’t think so.. You can have ONE! So I tell him to soak the water from the carpet up with one towel, and then wring it out into a bucket and repeat.. and repeat… and repeat.. he did this for hours.. poor thing.. The floor was so terrible.. It was like wearing gumboots filled with water.. Lucky we have floor heating.. we turn that on straight away and open all the windows.. I message the midwife and she calls straight away. I cry, I can’t help it.. this is not the way I imagined things. She says “Bec, I think I’d better come over!”
8am My midwife arrives and gives me a big hug.. she brings all her things inside.. She says the second midwife is on the way to bring the new pool.. a proper birthing pool this time.. one that’s tried and tested.. GOOD! My midwife wants to check me to see how things are going.. she’s been worried since I was 37 weeks.. as babys head had not engaged.. She was worried if my water broke that we would have to transfer straight to hospital with the risk of cord prolapse (as gloria lemay puts it.. you’d be at greater risk of a piano falling on your head).. and Of all the reading I’d done over the past few months.. I believed that with subsequent babies.. their heads often don’t engage until labour actually starts.. I’d told her this several times, but she still felt uncomfortable about being in that situation.. The second midwife arrived and as I was getting myself organized I could hear them talking in the kitchen.. I went in, and they said my cervix was still very closed and that I was in early labour.. She said If we did have to transfer to hospital, that a legislation had passed the day before, to say that no independent midwife was legally allowed to attend a hospital birth.. not only to NOT practice.. but for any hospital midwife to dob her in.. I was mortified.. She said at the end of the day it was up to her whether or not to come, but if she did, she’d be risking her registration/license/livelihood. I was really disappointed.. The second midwife could see that.. and she decided to call Lisa Barrett (google her and support her amazing journey)! ENTER midwife extraordinaire… she told them to “fucking relax.. its normal.. this girl could birth a truck with her previous big babies! She’s in normal gentle labour..leave her alone!” After that we all calmed down and they decided to go home and let me birth on my own til I was ready to have them there..
9am DP and I decided to go upstairs as contractions had slowed to about 10-15 mins apart with all the drama that had just unfolded.. He held a heatpack to my back.. and I started to relax.. I fell asleep between contractions.. Short and sweet relief..
11:30am My mum messaged me and asked if she could come by and pick up the pram, and let the girls see me for a little bit.. I agreed.. Student midwife had said that she got out of the babysitting job and that she was just waiting around for my call. YAY! Things are finally looking up ! and back to the way I need them to be!!
12pm Mum arrives with the girls.. they stay for about 10 mins.. I have a contraction while holding jazmine.. she cuddles me.. but straight after wants to feed.. Sorry darling – not likely!! I ask my mum to take the girls back to her place..
1pm DP makes me some fruit.. I eat slowly as I haven’t eaten at all.. I’m too aware of vomiting.. Its been violent in my previous two labours.. (and ALLLL the way through my pregnancies)Plus I want to empty if you know what I mean lol It is a pool birth afterall! He starts setting up the new pool while I’m upstairs resting.. I just can’t handle what I could see downstairs until its all set up and ready to go..
1:30pm He’s done a good job! Its everything I wanted and more.. he’s covered the floor with a massive strong tarp.. it all looks good and ready to go.. this birth pool is amazing and looks strong and inviting. Everything is starting to shape up.. I relax into my contractions.. they are getting way more intense now.. 3mins apart. I message the student midwife and my midwife and ask them to please come over. ITS HAPPENING… ITS REALLY HAPPENING… !!
2pm My midwife arrives. She knows this time the contractions are intense. I am standing holding onto the corner of the wall.. and looking away from everyone.. I want my privacy.. I’m moaning..my birth song…I cannot keep quiet.. They hurt.. I remember this. Between contractions I can still talk.. I still make jokes.. I go to the use the loo so many times I lose count.. She keeps making me drink.. I’m drinking water, and energy drinks.. “drink drink drink bec” she tells me.. I AM!
3pm The student midwife arrives, she sits on the floor with a book.. such a sweet girl – she knows exactly what to do.. She is hands off.. She sits and patiently waits.. My midwife asks me what I need during contractions, if I want them to do anything for me.. I say “absolutely nothing.. don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, don’t look at me.. just …nothing! In between contractions yes, massage, hot water packs.. whatever.. talk.. make jokes.. but during contractions.. NOTHING is funny!”
With each contraction now, I get Ray to stand with me, as I drape my arms around his neck.. I rock my hips and moan through each contraction… they are lasting a longer amount of time now.. This is it.. I’m in true active labour now.... My other babies… I miss them.. I want to make this hurry up so I can cuddle my girls.. and let them see their brother.. I worry that my family is thinking about me.. I can’t be thinking of other people.. I try to focus.. like a flower opening.. with each contraction.. its only temporary.. I’m going to meet my baby soon..
My midwife is always present.. after each contraction I hear her voice “bec, you are doing so beautifully, you are doing it, go with your body, allow the fear to dissolve..Don’t hold back”. She wants me to ramp this up a bit, so she has me try a few contractions on the birthing ball.. its not comfortable.. I don’t like it. She appears a few moments later with Jazmines step that we use for her to wash her hands “I found this!” .. Next contraction one of my feet is up on the step..geeeezzzuussss….ohhhhh goddddddd…help me… I pull my foot down.. No.. That’s just another level.. I’m not ready for that just yet.. I hold back..
5pm The next midwife arrives and starts unpacking her things.. I think to myself …it must be happening soon or she wouldn’t be here yet…She sits silent by the computer and reads also.. She says not a word to me.. I’ve got no idea at this stage how far apart anything is.. I’m just trusting the process.. I’m working through it. I’m doing what my body tells me to do.. and what my midwife suggests.. I put my trust in her.
6pm My midwife asks me if I’d like to sit on the toilet for a bit to open up my pelvis.. I agree but as soon as I sit down.. I regret it.. They leave me there for a bit on my own.. a contraction hits..shiiiitttt……oh my god.. please don’t let my baby be born on the toilet!! I try to close my legs.. another contraction hits.. my god that was quick.. no no no…. “someone please help meee!!!” Noone comes to my aid.. I’m getting angry.. I need someone by holding my hand.. touching me.. letting me lean on them for support.. SOMEONE GET IN HERE NOW!! OK FUCK THIS>>> “GUYS I WANNA GO TO HOSPITAL” all of a sudden they rush in.. OH so we’re gonna play it like that! Haha okay! COOL! I want off this toilet now..
6:15pm I decide that standing is good.. I want to just lean over the sink in the kitchen.. so that’s what I do.. for awhile.. The step makes another appearance and I use it when I can.. It just intensifies the contractions.. I feel like baby is right there at my cervix.. They rub my back.. A contraction hits.. I feel my birth song get louder and more out of control… Oooohhhh – ahhh … *guttural moan*.. woah ..!! who was that? Was that me? I feel a bit pushy.. I’m not happy being in here anymore.. I want to be in the loungeroom..No wait.. maybe upstairs.. No the pool.. the pool.. I need to rest.. I need to sleep.. I want to do this later.. Who’s idea was this anyway?
6:30pm I decide that I want to be in the loungeroom, I want to rest.. I tell my midwife and she says no.. she says we need to get this show on the road. I get mad.. I plead with her. I NEED to rest. She asks me to stomp to get mad.. So I start stomping.. barely lifting my feet off the ground.. It hurts.. I hold onto the student midwife.. We walk around a little.. they start massaging my legs.. They’re making me eat.. Jam on toast.. It tastes awful.. I don’t want to eat.. I’m hot.. I’m hot.. This room is boiling.. But I want to get in that pool.. They tell me that ill get more hot in the pool.. I don’t care. I’m not thinking straight.. I’m annoyed.. I want to sleep.. I don’t know what I want! I want my baby.. Oh yeah… that’s right.. I’m having a baby! Open up cervix.. I feel myself tense up with every contraction. I feel my pelvic floor lift.. it’s a concentrated effort to let go.. to surrender.. I can do this.. I am doing it. I’m going to meet my baby soon.. I’m pushy again! OH god.. somethings happening.. I’m leaning over the couch, propped up on pillows.. I lean back onto my heels and I feel something pop.. I feel something wet.. We go to the bathroom.. Just the mucus plug.. Not the waters.. We go back into the loungeroom..
7pm They finally agree to me having a rest.. My contractions all of a sudden slowed down.. I’m relieved.. I curl up on my side on the couch.. for maybe 5 mins.. then the contractions hit with such an intensity.. one on top of another.. there is no break in between… Someone is pushing down on my side.. helping to release my pelvic pressure.. but its making the contraction so much worse.. get off me…!! This isn’t rest!! More toast.. Its DP.. He’s offering it to me in the middle of a contraction .. I literally THROW his hand away from me forcefully! “NO!!!!” His hand goes flying into the curtain.. I can feel he is taken aback but I have no time to apologise.. I’m over this!
7:30pm My midwife asks to check me to see whats going on.. Okay.. It was impossible for me to get on my back with back to back contractions.. but somehow I managed through lots of cursing and moaning.. and I CAN’T’s! She looks disappointed.. “I’m sorry bec, you haven’t progressed since this morning”… what? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me..? “No NO NO NO NO! I cannot do this anymore!” I look at DP.. “PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE RIGHT NOW>> STUFF THIS HOMEBIRTH CRAP>> I WANT DRUGS, I WANT AN EPIDURAL>> I WANT THIS BABY CUT OUT OF ME NOW!”…
Imagine being told at the last leg of a race.. when you are entirely spent.. you have no energy left.. but someone says to you.. “you can do it.. you’ve only got five mins left!” Somehow you can find that energy to carry on.. but when someone says to you in the same last leg of a race.. that “sorry you need to go back to the start and do it over again”…
You just give up.. your body visibly gives up.. This is exactly how I felt.. I was shattered. They tried to persuade me to keep going “bec if we go to hospital, its not an emergency so we will have to drive there.. there won’t be an ambulance…” OH god please please get me out of here.. I have no choices.. I hate you all.. this is not right.. Everyone is against me!
7:40pm “bec can I check you for a second opinion” my second midwife says.. no no no no.. I don’t want anyone else touching me right now.. “bec if you let her check you, we will go to hospital..” Okay okay lets do this.. I had to get down on the ground.. flat on my back.. was the longest 5 mins of my life.. the contractions are still back to back.. I couldn’t straighten out.. I just wanted to stay in the feotal position. I finally straighten out.. and she stands back after checking me “UM… That’s her bulging bag of waters… this girl is fully dialated and ready to push!” halle-fucking-lujah! I knew it… I was in transition!! FINALLY!
7:50pm Finally I’m allowed in the pool.. I jump in so fast.. before.. I could barely raise a leg to stomp.. but I swing a leg over a waist high inflated pool so fast, then the other one.. and I’m in!..YEP I’m ready to do this!! I’m back in control! This is all up to me now.. DP is holding my hands and I’m leaning over the side of the pool with one knee down on the floor and they push the other foot so I’m standing with that leg..Like I’m about to propose.. YEP I PROPOSE THAT I GET THIS BABY OUT ASAP!.. wait.. don’t they need to break my waters.. I ask and my second midwife explains that if baby is posterior.. that he wouldn’t have the cushioning to turn.. she says if I like I can break them myself with a fingernail.. or I can just push and they will break.. I start pushing with all my might.. I feel a massive bulge coming out.. Its like a water balloon.. there is no grip.. so I push it out.. and it goes back in.. I push out.. the whole thing goes back in.. This happens a few times, before I hear a pop.. and feel the woosh of water.. within the water!Cool!!! Now my baby is coming!! I feel them put the mirror on the floor in the tub.. They tell me to be careful.. I couldn’t care less at this point. I am NOT moving anywhere.. The midwife suggests that DP goes to the other side to catch the baby.. and I cry out that I need someone to hold my hands.. or rather let me break theirs.. ! The second midwife is with me.. I hear them saying behind me.. “I can see a head..” “Yep that’s a head.. I can see a head too!” OHHH this gives me the strength I need.. puuuushhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “pant bec, pant..” I’m pant-pushing.. I can’t help it.. my body is taking over now! I feel the burn.. ow owwwwwwww owww ahhhhh!!!! Did I just tear? My bottom feels like its on the outside.. Theres so much pressure everywhere!! OH god please let this be over..soon…
8pm Then I feel baby slide out! OH hell yes! Im in shock.. I hear my first midwife “Bec swing your leg over” baby has been caught by DP behind me.. so I swing my leg over and sit on the pool floor.. I reach down into the water and feel that familiar slippery little body.. I pull him out of the water and sit him up on my stomach.. My baby.. Oh my baby.. “MY BABY!” I’m rubbing his little back.. He is a bit of a grey/blue colour.. and I wonder if he is okay.. I massage him all over.. and I feel my midwife throw warmed towels around me and a warmed facewasher on his head.. Im just gazing down at him.. I haven’t even seen his face properly yet..its still dark.. he’s dribbling on me like a little snail.. I rub his feet and he starts gurgling.. My midwife tells me to gently blow in his face.. and I do.. he gurgles some more.. and then begins to sqwark! Theres my baby.. The student midwife asks me if I’ve checked to see the sex.. I hold his leg up.. YES it’s a boy! Heres my baby boy!!!
Ariki Michael Jones-Naicovi, born on the 24th of august, 2011 at 8pm! 9 pound 15 ounces (4510 grams) 54cms long..
