Sage Catherine was blissfully home birthed on the 6th of December 08. She weighed 4.2kg, 53cm long and is cute as a button!
Learning to trust...
Sage’s birth story begins in June 05 when I had my first ectopic pregnancy. I was distraught to have lost my first baby, and even more so when only three months later I lost my second baby to a cornual ectopic pregnancy, which ruptured and damaged the top left hand side of my uterus.
When I fell pregnant with Jedd I was absolutely overjoyed that he was in the right place! However, this joy was short-lived and I was shattered to be told by my obstetrician that both myself and my baby could die if I went ahead with a natural birth – that a caesarean was my only option. Because of the ectopic pregnancies I had already lost faith in my bodies ability to function ‘normally’, so I accepted the caesarean.
Jedd was born safely into the world in May 07 – but I constantly questioned the necessity of his unnatural birth. Sure, he was healthy and alive – that’s all a mother can ask for, right? No. There was something missing – something very important.
I then stumbled across the film ‘Business of Being Born’ and my hopes and dreams of having a natural water birth came flooding back. I began doing some long over-due research into the realities of having a natural birth post cornual ectopic, and was surprised to find that there was no medical research indicating that it’s unsafe. Why then, did my obstetrician encourage me to have a caesarean for Jedd?
I had heard about VBAC’s (vaginal birth after caesarean) and when we discovered that I was pregnant I decided that I would try again for the natural birth that I longed for. Knowing full well that my best chances of having a successful VBAC were to stay at home, I began searching for a midwife. Once I met our Midwife I knew that I had found the midwife for me, and we began meeting regularly for check-ups. It was so lovely to be able to stay at home for her visits – I could plan our visits around Jedds nap times, and he could get to know her a bit better as well. The thought of taking a young toddler into a hospital for ante-natal visits made my blood pressure rise!
Despite preparing myself for a 42-43 week pregnancy, I secretly hoped that my baby would make her debut soon. I had an acupuncture treatment on Tuesday, two days before my due date. I then had another treatment on the following Monday and then an induction treatment on Friday. Thursday night my mucous plug had began falling out, and by the end of the induction treatment on Friday my instincts told me that I would be meeting my baby very shortly.
The Birth
Grant and I were enjoying some quiet time together on Friday night when I first realised that I was having surges. At about 9pm I thought that it would be wise to head to bed, then at 10pm I dragged Grant and myself to bed so we could get some sleep before things heated up. I slept for two hours with a heat pack strapped to my back, then Grant heated it up for me again at midnight and I slept for another two hours. At 2am I could no longer sleep through the surges and decided to get up out of bed and begin preparing to meet my baby.
I sat, I stood, I swayed, I walked and I waddled for the next few hours. As the surges came, I envisioned them as waves. I would watch the waves roll into the shore, stand in the cold sea water momentarily and then felt the water recede from my feet as the wave rolled back out to sea. This visualisation made the surges much easier to deal with, and calmed me immensely. It made the surges easier to breathe through as I could pinpoint the moment that the cold water would reach my feet and make me quickly catch my breath.
My doula arrived in the midst of my breathing and settled herself in the lounge. As Doula continued to assure me that I was progressing beautifully, I found her presence to be calming and soothing. Her and Grant tag-teamed with my neighbour to babysit Jedd, and they continually kept My Midwife and Mum up-to-date throughout the birth; they did such a great job of it that I was oblivious to the majority of what was happening around me as I was able to focus on bringing my daughter earthside. Grant’s encouragement through the whole birth was incredible, as he offered me water, powerade, natural lollies and food to keep my energy up.
As my lower-back began to ache, and the surges became stronger, longer and closer together, Grant began to fill the birth pool for me. Once I lowered my body into the warm water I felt instant relief and was able to relax into the surges once again. My doula gave me a pillow to rest on and lean over on the edge of the birth pool which helped me balance comfortably.
Tiredness began take its toll, so my doula suggested that I lay down in bed for a little while and see if I’m able to rest easier in between the surges. So off I trundled and surprisingly was able to get about an hour of sleep, waking periodically to rock my body gently through the surges, then napping again until the next one arrived. When I woke up I had a shower to refresh and re-energise myself and the surges returned with much more intensity and regularity.
I began to baby dance my way around the lounge room once again, keeping upright and rocking my body with the surges. I moved regularly between the birth pool and the lounge, swinging and swaying all the while. Soon after I began to feel the urge to push, but since we weren’t sure if it was simply the positioning of the baby pushing against my bowel, or the baby telling me that it was ready to join us, I held off for my midwife to arrive.
By early afternoon my midwife arrived and confirmed that I was 8cm dilated. I glowed in the achievement of my progress so far. We were almost there! Well – we THOUGHT I was almost there... turns out I still had quite a few hours of work ahead of me.
As the urge to push became stronger, I listened to my body and went with the flow. After pushing for an hour with no result, Betty checked bub to find that she had turned posterior. No wonder this pushing caper was taking so long!
I never felt disturbed or upset about bub being posterior. I knew that I still had the ability to birth her naturally – but there were definitely moments of sheer exhaustion that I felt ready to give up and let ‘someone else’ take over. My pride, determination and sheer stubbornness drove me to push on though – and the knowledge that I was so close to meeting my baby encouraged me to push even harder.
The surges continued coming regularly, and Sage’s heart rate remained constant and steady. I continued keeping active in between surges, but always found myself bearing down on all fours against the lounge when the urge to push arose.
After four hours of pushing, my midwife suggested that laying down on the lounge would help bub to manoeuvre her way through my pelvis, given her posterior position. And much to my surprise – it worked! As bub began to crown, the sheer excitement in Grant’s voice motivated me to push on through the burning sensation. “She’s almost here babe, you’re so close!” I reached down and felt her soft head covered in hair and was inspired immediately – I knew I could do this!
Another hour and a half later, I finally birthed Sage. Grant reached down and caught his daughter, lifting her straight up onto my chest. Love instantly swept over me as I held my baby. The pride of achieving the ‘impossible’ empowered me. And relief that the past 24 and a half hours of birthing was over!
She opened her eyes and gazed up at me with such intensity. I introduced myself to her as her Mummy, and within twenty minutes or so, Sage instinctively found her way to the breast and attached perfectly!
Trust Restored!
I now realise that THIS is what birth is all about. Women trusting their bodies to do what we’re designed to do. Babies being born when they’re ready, and being allowed to bond with their mothers straight away rather than being whisked off to cold sterile rooms to be poked and prodded. I feel sad that Jedd missed out on so much – but I thank him every day for enlightening me that his sister might be born the way that nature intended.
Rivis Unassisted VBAC at Home
I have no idea how to begin writing this birth story – the birth itself was so incredibly fast that there isn’t really much to recount; but the pregnancy was a different story!
The whole way through the pregnancy I had felt uncomfortable. I truly believed that something was going to go wrong. After having two previously uneventful pregnancies, I really had no reason to feel this way – but I couldn’t shake it. Then at 34wks pregnant I began itching. Blood tests indicated that I may have obstetric cholestasis, a disease which I was not prepared to battle with in order to gain my second HBAC (Home Birth After Caesarean). I began preparing to meet my belly babe by 37wks. Even so, in the hopes that I may somehow beat the disease, I changed my diet, began acupuncture and chiropractic care, and within three weeks my blood tests had returned back to perfectly normal levels! I continued having blood tests every week and still, they were back to normal. My plans for HBAC were back on the table!
In those 3 short weeks that I had began preparing to meet my baby before my EDD, I had completely lost focus on allowing my belly babe to arrive in her own time, as I had began using natural induction techniques in a vain attempt to bring on labour. Needless to say, they didn’t work! Hundreds of dollars spent on acupuncture, naturopathy, herbs, tinctures and tonics… but my baby came when it suited her best. And I’m so thankful that she did!
By the time 41wks rolled around I gave in. I gave it to the gods, completely surrendered and stopped all induction techniques. Those final 5 days of pregnancy were bliss! My head didn’t feel so foggy, I didn’t feel any pressure to meet an expiry date, and I spent quality time with Grant and the kids. I can honestly say that by forgetting about WHEN I was going to meet my baby, I allowed myself to relax enough for her to make her perfect debut.
When labour did finally kick in at 41+5, I was completely ready for it. Grant had began his leave from work and I felt supported and assured. Jedd and Sage had unfortunately had gastro two nights previously and Grant woke up in the early hours of the morning with vomiting and diarrhoea. I woke up a few hours later with a little bit of vomiting, but mostly diarrhoea. Thankfully Jedd and Sage had recovered well and were booked into daycare that day. So after dropping them off early, we hopped into bed for a couple of hours of catch-up sleep. This is when my surges began – as soon as I laid down! They came every 10-15 minutes, and I would wake and rock my body through it, then lay back down for some more sleep. After 2hrs of rest I had a hot shower and the surges became a bit more intense – so I did what anyone does when they’re expecting to have a baby and went straight back to bed for another 2hrs! I kept this pattern up all day and finally got out of bed at 4pm.
I called my friend to come around to hang out with me while Grant went to collect Jedd and Sage from daycare and grab some take away for them all for dinner. My friend arrived at around 5:30pm and we chatted away in the kitchen for an hour. I had to stop chatting when the surges hit, lean on the kitchen bench and rock my body through them. Whenever we stopped talking, my friends 5 month old son would gabble away – it was so sweet! Almost like he was talking to my unborn babe, and it reminded me what this was all about; meeting my baby! In that hour my surges picked up quite a bit. When my friend arrived they were still 9-12 minutes apart, but by the time she left at 6:20pm they were coming every 2-4 minutes and lasting for about a minute each.
Because Sages birth had gone on for 24hrs, I still felt like I had a long way to go and so texted my midwife to let her know where I was at. She asked if I wanted her to come over yet – I ummed and ahhed and finally said that she should have some dinner first and take her time, but to head over when she was ready. I texted my photographer at the same time and she arrived first. Just as well really – I’m glad she got some photos of me in labour at all!
My photographer arrived just after 7pm and I was well and truly in labourland. My candles were lit, my birth affirmation posters were on the wall and the birth pool was being filled. None of it meant anything at the time though – my body had a job to do and my focus was on bringing baby earthside. I swayed my body through each surge and after a few more rushes went to sit down on the toilet.
Squatting down was the most amazing feeling – I rocked my body forwards and backwards through the surges, feeling every motion and movement within. Then the most incredible thing happened – I felt my body pushing! I had never felt this before, the intense urge to bear down. There was no fighting it, my scarred uterus was pushing my baby earthside. The very same uterus that had been sliced open for a caesarean; the uterus that had ruptured from a cornual ectopic pregnancy… this uterus was so strong and powerful that it hugged and squeezed my belly babe earthside.
I went back to the floor beside the birth pool and got down on all fours – this pushing felt so good! I could hear my voice rising and my face tensing, so focused on relaxing my jaw and lowering my voice. I reached down and could feel my babies head. The pool was too hot to get in, so whilst Grant bucketed hot water out and put cold water in I kept on all fours, rocking and feeling my body gently embracing my belly babe.
Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer – I NEEDED to be in that birth pool! It felt close enough to being the right temperature so I just hopped straight in and discovered that it was perfect. Time to meet my baby!
Grant took his shirt off and hopped in the pool with me. Sage sat on the bed, watching on in anticipation. Jedd slept soundly. Three or four more pushes and Rivi made her way earthside into Daddies waiting hands! He lifted her straight up to my chest and I closed my arms around her little body. Love.
Five minutes later my midwife came running in, and ten minutes after that I birthed the placenta. Everything was perfect and exactly as it should be. I felt empowered, amazed that I had achieved my second VBAC and in awe of it happening so quickly! I had never expected to have such a short labour and birth – it really took me by surprise. Rivi weighed 9lb 11oz, measured 57cm long and had a head circumference of 34cm. She was far too long for the 0000 outfits that I bought her and went straight into 000!
Rivis birth taught me how important it is for women to be able to continue birthing at home assisted by a midwife. Even though Rivi arrived before my midwife did, homebirth needs to remain an option for women to choose when deciding where they wish to give birth. My daughters deserve the right to choose birth at home with a midwife and I will continue to write my letters, rally and protest for their maternal rights to be protected. If I don’t, who will.
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The whole way through the pregnancy I had felt uncomfortable. I truly believed that something was going to go wrong. After having two previously uneventful pregnancies, I really had no reason to feel this way – but I couldn’t shake it. Then at 34wks pregnant I began itching. Blood tests indicated that I may have obstetric cholestasis, a disease which I was not prepared to battle with in order to gain my second HBAC (Home Birth After Caesarean). I began preparing to meet my belly babe by 37wks. Even so, in the hopes that I may somehow beat the disease, I changed my diet, began acupuncture and chiropractic care, and within three weeks my blood tests had returned back to perfectly normal levels! I continued having blood tests every week and still, they were back to normal. My plans for HBAC were back on the table!
In those 3 short weeks that I had began preparing to meet my baby before my EDD, I had completely lost focus on allowing my belly babe to arrive in her own time, as I had began using natural induction techniques in a vain attempt to bring on labour. Needless to say, they didn’t work! Hundreds of dollars spent on acupuncture, naturopathy, herbs, tinctures and tonics… but my baby came when it suited her best. And I’m so thankful that she did!
By the time 41wks rolled around I gave in. I gave it to the gods, completely surrendered and stopped all induction techniques. Those final 5 days of pregnancy were bliss! My head didn’t feel so foggy, I didn’t feel any pressure to meet an expiry date, and I spent quality time with Grant and the kids. I can honestly say that by forgetting about WHEN I was going to meet my baby, I allowed myself to relax enough for her to make her perfect debut.
When labour did finally kick in at 41+5, I was completely ready for it. Grant had began his leave from work and I felt supported and assured. Jedd and Sage had unfortunately had gastro two nights previously and Grant woke up in the early hours of the morning with vomiting and diarrhoea. I woke up a few hours later with a little bit of vomiting, but mostly diarrhoea. Thankfully Jedd and Sage had recovered well and were booked into daycare that day. So after dropping them off early, we hopped into bed for a couple of hours of catch-up sleep. This is when my surges began – as soon as I laid down! They came every 10-15 minutes, and I would wake and rock my body through it, then lay back down for some more sleep. After 2hrs of rest I had a hot shower and the surges became a bit more intense – so I did what anyone does when they’re expecting to have a baby and went straight back to bed for another 2hrs! I kept this pattern up all day and finally got out of bed at 4pm.
I called my friend to come around to hang out with me while Grant went to collect Jedd and Sage from daycare and grab some take away for them all for dinner. My friend arrived at around 5:30pm and we chatted away in the kitchen for an hour. I had to stop chatting when the surges hit, lean on the kitchen bench and rock my body through them. Whenever we stopped talking, my friends 5 month old son would gabble away – it was so sweet! Almost like he was talking to my unborn babe, and it reminded me what this was all about; meeting my baby! In that hour my surges picked up quite a bit. When my friend arrived they were still 9-12 minutes apart, but by the time she left at 6:20pm they were coming every 2-4 minutes and lasting for about a minute each.
Because Sages birth had gone on for 24hrs, I still felt like I had a long way to go and so texted my midwife to let her know where I was at. She asked if I wanted her to come over yet – I ummed and ahhed and finally said that she should have some dinner first and take her time, but to head over when she was ready. I texted my photographer at the same time and she arrived first. Just as well really – I’m glad she got some photos of me in labour at all!
My photographer arrived just after 7pm and I was well and truly in labourland. My candles were lit, my birth affirmation posters were on the wall and the birth pool was being filled. None of it meant anything at the time though – my body had a job to do and my focus was on bringing baby earthside. I swayed my body through each surge and after a few more rushes went to sit down on the toilet.
Squatting down was the most amazing feeling – I rocked my body forwards and backwards through the surges, feeling every motion and movement within. Then the most incredible thing happened – I felt my body pushing! I had never felt this before, the intense urge to bear down. There was no fighting it, my scarred uterus was pushing my baby earthside. The very same uterus that had been sliced open for a caesarean; the uterus that had ruptured from a cornual ectopic pregnancy… this uterus was so strong and powerful that it hugged and squeezed my belly babe earthside.
I went back to the floor beside the birth pool and got down on all fours – this pushing felt so good! I could hear my voice rising and my face tensing, so focused on relaxing my jaw and lowering my voice. I reached down and could feel my babies head. The pool was too hot to get in, so whilst Grant bucketed hot water out and put cold water in I kept on all fours, rocking and feeling my body gently embracing my belly babe.
Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer – I NEEDED to be in that birth pool! It felt close enough to being the right temperature so I just hopped straight in and discovered that it was perfect. Time to meet my baby!
Grant took his shirt off and hopped in the pool with me. Sage sat on the bed, watching on in anticipation. Jedd slept soundly. Three or four more pushes and Rivi made her way earthside into Daddies waiting hands! He lifted her straight up to my chest and I closed my arms around her little body. Love.
Five minutes later my midwife came running in, and ten minutes after that I birthed the placenta. Everything was perfect and exactly as it should be. I felt empowered, amazed that I had achieved my second VBAC and in awe of it happening so quickly! I had never expected to have such a short labour and birth – it really took me by surprise. Rivi weighed 9lb 11oz, measured 57cm long and had a head circumference of 34cm. She was far too long for the 0000 outfits that I bought her and went straight into 000!
Rivis birth taught me how important it is for women to be able to continue birthing at home assisted by a midwife. Even though Rivi arrived before my midwife did, homebirth needs to remain an option for women to choose when deciding where they wish to give birth. My daughters deserve the right to choose birth at home with a midwife and I will continue to write my letters, rally and protest for their maternal rights to be protected. If I don’t, who will.
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A Fathers View
I asked my husband to write his version of our homebirths in order to share with other fathers out there. A partners point of view in a birth is quite often significantly different to that of his birthing partner and I feel it is very important to create an awareness and understanding of this difference. This recognition allows fathers to learn how to best support his partner during childbirth and the immediate post-partum period. Enjoy the following birth stories :)
Sages VBAC at Home
“Oh Sh#t”. This is how my birth story began. Alicia, my wife’s birth story began about 20 seconds earlier when she read the home pregnancy test, telling her we were about to have our second child. I don’t swear often, so after Alicia told me the news those two words summed up my temporary shock and fear quite well. The news was unexpected but very welcome. Indescribably it also felt meant to be.
To be honest we both wanted a larger gap between children, but we saw the benefits of having our children younger and closer together. Jedd our first child, who was just rudely awoken by a new word, was only ten months old at the time.
We very soon began talking about the type of birth we wanted to have. It was less about baby names, buying new clothes and toys but about preparing for the birthing experience. This desire was strongly felt by Alicia. Her birth experience with Jedd was less than perfect. We both love Jedd more than the world and wouldn’t change a thing about him. But if this was going to be our last child the birth has to be more meaningful, more empowering and more spiritual. It has to be our birth, done our way.
When Alicia sets her mind to something she can’t be deterred. It may be called stubbiness, but in this case it was a stubbiness backed up with thorough education, knowledge and a clear minded conviction. We had been told after two ectopic pregnancies that a caesarean was our only safe option. We ignorantly accepted that verdict. For our next birth Alicia wanted a natural birth at home with our choice of midwife and with our choice attendees. We now knew we could do this safely and I felt it was my job to do everything I could to assist her to have the birthing experience she wanted.
My inspiration to support my wife wasn’t just to please her but because of the knowledge that there was no medical reason why we couldn’t have a VBAC at home. I believed in the benefits that a natural birth has on mother and child. Not just during the experience but long after. The risks involved were no greater at home than in a hospital, especially with the wealth of experience we were to have with our midwife and doula present. I believed that listening to the needs of my wife would ensure a better outcome for her and child and increase our chances of a successful birth.
The lead up to the big moment was fairly relaxed. I had been granted leave two weeks prior to the due date and had the peace of mind knowing that I didn’t have to be at work again until almost two months after our due date. Not that the due date meant much to us. The baby was going to come when baby was ready.
It was Friday the 5th of December at around 10.30pm when Alicia said, “Grant I think we should get some sleep, I think this is the night”. I had grown a little complacent. We were almost two weeks over due and thought this was just another fleeting bout of Braxton hicks. I did what I was told and went to bed. At 2am Alicia woke me and said, “It’s time to get up, were having a baby”.
We gave our midwife a call and told her how the contractions were going. She didn’t seem too alarmed with our progress, but we felt things were beginning to happen very quickly. Without too much discussion we decided to call our doula and she came over almost instantly.
This is where in retrospect I clicked and took on the role of protector of Ally’s birth place and provider for all her needs. I wanted to play a pivotal role in the birth experience and be a pillar of strength and support.
As Alicia began to focus and become in tuned with the rhythms of her birthing body I carried on with the job I had to do. I set up the birth pool, the lounge room with towels and sheets, candles were lit. I was constantly on hand with a cold drink the supply of a fresh heat pack a lower back massage or positive words of encouragement.
What struck me early on with the ebb and flow of the obviously painful contractions was Alicia’s innate poise and coping abilities. Watching her was extremely natural and amazing. She knew exactly what to do. She described the earlier stages of the birth as a dance. In many ways that was true. She was always on the move and she did it in such a graceful smooth way. It was stirring to see her trust her body after all the doubts and negativity she had experienced over the past couple years.
As midday approached the contractions continued as strong as ever and the first signs of exhaustion were setting in. Our doula suggested that Alicia lie down in bed for a while, have a shower, which should revitalise her for the final stretch home. During this time I updated Alicia’s nervous mother on her fantastic progress. I had at least half a dozen missed calls and messages but she needn’t have worried. I also called our midwife and strongly suggested that time was nigh and her presence would be needed soon.
After Alicia’s rest she had increased vitality, which was matched by the surges. An urge to push was developing and I had renewed urgency for the midwife to arrive. Our doula had the same feelings of anxiety, yet we made sure our emotions were hidden from Alicia. It was of priority to protect Alicia from any negativity or stress.
A point was reached where Alicia knew she was ready to push. Again I called the midwife and thankfully she was already on her way. When she arrived Alicia was at 8cm. All the pain and exertion up until this point was validated when we believed we were almost there. Well so we thought.....
What happened over the next 6 hours was the most intense, challenging and emotional event in my life so far. Although in the moment time didn’t exist. Alicia was transferring from position to position slowly making good progress. The baby’s heart beat was constantly monitored and not once did she falter. It was great to hear her, but what was truly amazing was when I saw her for the first time. Again that was another moment where Alicia’s energy and determination re-energized.
At this stage Alicia found an inner strength that will inspire me for the rest of my life. The baby was discovered to be posterior which stalled her progress down the birth canal. There were moments where morale waned and tempers frayed. Bub at times just didn’t seem like she could move any further and it seemed the effort put in wasn’t providing considerable progress. Transferring to hospital was on all our minds but I didn’t want to accept that. Having this baby at home meant too much to us. There were serious concerns for the baby in this stalled state but her heart rate remained strong and constant.
Eventually Alicia settled in a position on our couch and the progress took an exciting turn. Baby’s head began to crown. Slowing but gradually our little girl moved closer to our world. Alicia pushed with every reserve of determination she could muster, reached down and touched her daughters head and mixed tears of pain with joy. Not long after our girl was finally here. I nervously caught her and passed her to the loving arms of her mother. Nothing could be more beautiful. The child’s eyes intensely gazed upon her mum.
I felt so overjoyed for Alicia. She had fought for so long and so hard and in the end she achieved everything she wanted. I love my wife and respect her, but now I was also in total awe.
We named our gorgeous girl Sage Catherine, which we thought was a beautiful name. But what we didn’t realise at the time was that Sage also means to heal. It was a profound discovery because that’s exactly what she did. She healed the old wounds of self doubt that Alicia had about her body. Having Sage naturally, proved that she could trust her body to do what it was meant to. It gave Alicia the fulfilment she yearned and the loving natural start in life that Sage deserved.
To be honest we both wanted a larger gap between children, but we saw the benefits of having our children younger and closer together. Jedd our first child, who was just rudely awoken by a new word, was only ten months old at the time.
We very soon began talking about the type of birth we wanted to have. It was less about baby names, buying new clothes and toys but about preparing for the birthing experience. This desire was strongly felt by Alicia. Her birth experience with Jedd was less than perfect. We both love Jedd more than the world and wouldn’t change a thing about him. But if this was going to be our last child the birth has to be more meaningful, more empowering and more spiritual. It has to be our birth, done our way.
When Alicia sets her mind to something she can’t be deterred. It may be called stubbiness, but in this case it was a stubbiness backed up with thorough education, knowledge and a clear minded conviction. We had been told after two ectopic pregnancies that a caesarean was our only safe option. We ignorantly accepted that verdict. For our next birth Alicia wanted a natural birth at home with our choice of midwife and with our choice attendees. We now knew we could do this safely and I felt it was my job to do everything I could to assist her to have the birthing experience she wanted.
My inspiration to support my wife wasn’t just to please her but because of the knowledge that there was no medical reason why we couldn’t have a VBAC at home. I believed in the benefits that a natural birth has on mother and child. Not just during the experience but long after. The risks involved were no greater at home than in a hospital, especially with the wealth of experience we were to have with our midwife and doula present. I believed that listening to the needs of my wife would ensure a better outcome for her and child and increase our chances of a successful birth.
The lead up to the big moment was fairly relaxed. I had been granted leave two weeks prior to the due date and had the peace of mind knowing that I didn’t have to be at work again until almost two months after our due date. Not that the due date meant much to us. The baby was going to come when baby was ready.
It was Friday the 5th of December at around 10.30pm when Alicia said, “Grant I think we should get some sleep, I think this is the night”. I had grown a little complacent. We were almost two weeks over due and thought this was just another fleeting bout of Braxton hicks. I did what I was told and went to bed. At 2am Alicia woke me and said, “It’s time to get up, were having a baby”.
We gave our midwife a call and told her how the contractions were going. She didn’t seem too alarmed with our progress, but we felt things were beginning to happen very quickly. Without too much discussion we decided to call our doula and she came over almost instantly.
This is where in retrospect I clicked and took on the role of protector of Ally’s birth place and provider for all her needs. I wanted to play a pivotal role in the birth experience and be a pillar of strength and support.
As Alicia began to focus and become in tuned with the rhythms of her birthing body I carried on with the job I had to do. I set up the birth pool, the lounge room with towels and sheets, candles were lit. I was constantly on hand with a cold drink the supply of a fresh heat pack a lower back massage or positive words of encouragement.
What struck me early on with the ebb and flow of the obviously painful contractions was Alicia’s innate poise and coping abilities. Watching her was extremely natural and amazing. She knew exactly what to do. She described the earlier stages of the birth as a dance. In many ways that was true. She was always on the move and she did it in such a graceful smooth way. It was stirring to see her trust her body after all the doubts and negativity she had experienced over the past couple years.
As midday approached the contractions continued as strong as ever and the first signs of exhaustion were setting in. Our doula suggested that Alicia lie down in bed for a while, have a shower, which should revitalise her for the final stretch home. During this time I updated Alicia’s nervous mother on her fantastic progress. I had at least half a dozen missed calls and messages but she needn’t have worried. I also called our midwife and strongly suggested that time was nigh and her presence would be needed soon.
After Alicia’s rest she had increased vitality, which was matched by the surges. An urge to push was developing and I had renewed urgency for the midwife to arrive. Our doula had the same feelings of anxiety, yet we made sure our emotions were hidden from Alicia. It was of priority to protect Alicia from any negativity or stress.
A point was reached where Alicia knew she was ready to push. Again I called the midwife and thankfully she was already on her way. When she arrived Alicia was at 8cm. All the pain and exertion up until this point was validated when we believed we were almost there. Well so we thought.....
What happened over the next 6 hours was the most intense, challenging and emotional event in my life so far. Although in the moment time didn’t exist. Alicia was transferring from position to position slowly making good progress. The baby’s heart beat was constantly monitored and not once did she falter. It was great to hear her, but what was truly amazing was when I saw her for the first time. Again that was another moment where Alicia’s energy and determination re-energized.
At this stage Alicia found an inner strength that will inspire me for the rest of my life. The baby was discovered to be posterior which stalled her progress down the birth canal. There were moments where morale waned and tempers frayed. Bub at times just didn’t seem like she could move any further and it seemed the effort put in wasn’t providing considerable progress. Transferring to hospital was on all our minds but I didn’t want to accept that. Having this baby at home meant too much to us. There were serious concerns for the baby in this stalled state but her heart rate remained strong and constant.
Eventually Alicia settled in a position on our couch and the progress took an exciting turn. Baby’s head began to crown. Slowing but gradually our little girl moved closer to our world. Alicia pushed with every reserve of determination she could muster, reached down and touched her daughters head and mixed tears of pain with joy. Not long after our girl was finally here. I nervously caught her and passed her to the loving arms of her mother. Nothing could be more beautiful. The child’s eyes intensely gazed upon her mum.
I felt so overjoyed for Alicia. She had fought for so long and so hard and in the end she achieved everything she wanted. I love my wife and respect her, but now I was also in total awe.
We named our gorgeous girl Sage Catherine, which we thought was a beautiful name. But what we didn’t realise at the time was that Sage also means to heal. It was a profound discovery because that’s exactly what she did. She healed the old wounds of self doubt that Alicia had about her body. Having Sage naturally, proved that she could trust her body to do what it was meant to. It gave Alicia the fulfilment she yearned and the loving natural start in life that Sage deserved.
Rivis Unassisted VBAC at Home
My wife asked me, “When did Rivis birth story start for you?”
The answer to the question wasn't totally clear. It could have began when we first learned of her growing presence; or when we first met our midwife and began discussing the birth. Or even the morning of the birth, lying in bed with my wife when the first signs of labour were dawning. Yet the question sparked a whole different train of thought about time itself, specifically our obsession with time, and our compulsion for a linear start and end to lifes experience.
Our choice to have a homebirth was in part a rebellion against the bureaucracy of birth in our society, and its incessant need to be on the clock during birth. Having to set a date, make inflexible hospital appointments, and being under pressure to 'pump out' a baby before the obstetricians planned round of golf.
We wanted the birth to be on our terms, our time. Or more accurately, birth when our baby was naturally ready to arrive, Rivis Time. Escaping a linear time schedule and having a birth in synchronisation with the true 'cyclic' nature of time, that is, no beginning and no end. In the days leading up to the birth both our elder children had severe gastro; and on the before mentioned morning, lying in bed with my wife, I too was suffering from the same bug. The day progressed very uneventfully – I dropped our children off to daycare and answered the carers question for the millionth time, “No, we still haven't had the baby.”
Ally and I spent a wonderful day relaxing timelessly in bed, resting, recovering and preparing for the birth of our new family member. By the early afternoon the signs of birth began to escalate. I collected our children from daycare whilst a close friend stayed with Ally. On arriving home, her contractions had strengthened and labour was well established. Everything was now occuring in fast-forward and I jumped aboard this ride and into a time-warp.
I was cooking dinner, bathing children, dressing children, talking to Ally, setting up the birth space, filling the birth pool, reading stories, putting children to bed, checking in on Ally, emptying the pool, refilling again, settling the children, hosting our photographer... “Grant! The baby is coming!”
At this stage our midwife had not yet arrived but was on her way. Fortunately, not aboard the Millennium Falcon, but her reliable birth-mobile. Yet our new baby was not waiting for the stage to be set – she was ready! She was 41+4 at this stage, overdue by most medical definitions but perfectly on time according to her biological time-piece, biding her time until the precise moment and then blasting her way into our world; hence her temporary nickname of Rivi-Rocket!
So with our 3yo daughter Sage standing on the bed, our wonderful photographer silently and skillfully observing the moments of our birth, Ally and I entered the pool. In between the penultimate and ultimate contractions, I leapt from the pool and unlocked the front door so our midwife could enter when she arrived. An urgent call to “Hurry Up!” came from the pool and without hesitation or thought I was guiding my new daughter into the waiting hands of her mother. A breath was now required. And then a brief reflection of what just happened in the last one and a half hours. Another breath, and then momentous feelings of joy and accomplishment, watching my perfect child cradled in her mothers arms.
Our midwife arrived shortly later and I gratefully let her calmly assist Ally with the next stages of birthing the placenta and checking Rivis vital signs. During this respite I woke our son so he could meet his new sister. Again we enter pure timelessness. Our family and invited guests totally enthralled by the experience of the birth, meeting this new pure and natural celebration of life manifested in a newly born baby.
This birth reminded me of how we should more often try to live our lives. Without so many measurements and expectations. To allow things to be self-willed and not overly controlled. To embrace the natural and wild aspects of our humanity. Letting time take care of itself. Rivis birth was a revelation and experience I hope more people can enjoy and value.
Alicia runs the nurtured bebe and does placenta encapsulation and baby massage:
The answer to the question wasn't totally clear. It could have began when we first learned of her growing presence; or when we first met our midwife and began discussing the birth. Or even the morning of the birth, lying in bed with my wife when the first signs of labour were dawning. Yet the question sparked a whole different train of thought about time itself, specifically our obsession with time, and our compulsion for a linear start and end to lifes experience.
Our choice to have a homebirth was in part a rebellion against the bureaucracy of birth in our society, and its incessant need to be on the clock during birth. Having to set a date, make inflexible hospital appointments, and being under pressure to 'pump out' a baby before the obstetricians planned round of golf.
We wanted the birth to be on our terms, our time. Or more accurately, birth when our baby was naturally ready to arrive, Rivis Time. Escaping a linear time schedule and having a birth in synchronisation with the true 'cyclic' nature of time, that is, no beginning and no end. In the days leading up to the birth both our elder children had severe gastro; and on the before mentioned morning, lying in bed with my wife, I too was suffering from the same bug. The day progressed very uneventfully – I dropped our children off to daycare and answered the carers question for the millionth time, “No, we still haven't had the baby.”
Ally and I spent a wonderful day relaxing timelessly in bed, resting, recovering and preparing for the birth of our new family member. By the early afternoon the signs of birth began to escalate. I collected our children from daycare whilst a close friend stayed with Ally. On arriving home, her contractions had strengthened and labour was well established. Everything was now occuring in fast-forward and I jumped aboard this ride and into a time-warp.
I was cooking dinner, bathing children, dressing children, talking to Ally, setting up the birth space, filling the birth pool, reading stories, putting children to bed, checking in on Ally, emptying the pool, refilling again, settling the children, hosting our photographer... “Grant! The baby is coming!”
At this stage our midwife had not yet arrived but was on her way. Fortunately, not aboard the Millennium Falcon, but her reliable birth-mobile. Yet our new baby was not waiting for the stage to be set – she was ready! She was 41+4 at this stage, overdue by most medical definitions but perfectly on time according to her biological time-piece, biding her time until the precise moment and then blasting her way into our world; hence her temporary nickname of Rivi-Rocket!
So with our 3yo daughter Sage standing on the bed, our wonderful photographer silently and skillfully observing the moments of our birth, Ally and I entered the pool. In between the penultimate and ultimate contractions, I leapt from the pool and unlocked the front door so our midwife could enter when she arrived. An urgent call to “Hurry Up!” came from the pool and without hesitation or thought I was guiding my new daughter into the waiting hands of her mother. A breath was now required. And then a brief reflection of what just happened in the last one and a half hours. Another breath, and then momentous feelings of joy and accomplishment, watching my perfect child cradled in her mothers arms.
Our midwife arrived shortly later and I gratefully let her calmly assist Ally with the next stages of birthing the placenta and checking Rivis vital signs. During this respite I woke our son so he could meet his new sister. Again we enter pure timelessness. Our family and invited guests totally enthralled by the experience of the birth, meeting this new pure and natural celebration of life manifested in a newly born baby.
This birth reminded me of how we should more often try to live our lives. Without so many measurements and expectations. To allow things to be self-willed and not overly controlled. To embrace the natural and wild aspects of our humanity. Letting time take care of itself. Rivis birth was a revelation and experience I hope more people can enjoy and value.
Alicia runs the nurtured bebe and does placenta encapsulation and baby massage:
You can find her here: http://www.thenurturedbebe.com.au
